Me? .... I am Kevin.

I did nothing today. Enjoyed it. Hated myself for it.

I think I will focus more on negative space in my drawings from now on, I think it gives more drama.

9/24/12 — 9:33am

-I could be your suicide policeman-

Lyrics taken from a song called “Suicide Policeman” by ‘Yuck’

Exams are finally over; more free time to create pointless drawings.

9/22/12 — 9:34am

Doesn’t look like he’ll get far, pushing on nothing like that.

9/6/12 — 9:15pm

-You haven’t been talking lately…-
-I haven’t had anything to say-

People always misinterpret my silence.

8/4/12 — 10:54pm

I shall perish,” said he, “I must perish in this deplorable folly. Thus, thus, and not otherwise, shall I be lost. I dread the events of the future, not in themselves, but in their results. I shudder at the thought of any, even the most trivial, incident, which may operate upon this intolerable agitation of soul. I have, indeed, no abhorrence of danger, except in its absolute effect - in terror. In this unnerved - in this pitiable condition - I feel that the period will sooner or later arrive when I must abandon life and reason together, in some struggle with the grim phantasm, FEAR.

Edgar Allen Poe - The Fall Of The House Of Usher

7/26/12 — 11:25pm

The physique of the gray walls and turrets, and of the dim tarn into which they all looked down, had, at length, brought about upon the morale of his existence.

Edgar Allan Poe - The Fall Of The House Of Usher

7/26/12 — 11:24pm

But I’m not sure if I have anything beneath it.

7/4/12 — 9:45pm

Quotes, informed opinion, the ravings of the religious and the lunatic fringe. I could have thrown it all at her. I could have told her that what she was going through was quite normal for an unconditioned human. I could have told her that it would all pass with time. That there were psychodynamic disciplines for dealing with it. That millions of other people survived it. I could even have told her that whichever God she owed nominal allegiance to was watching over her. I could have lied, I could have reasoned. It all would have meant about the same, because the reality was just pain, and right now there was nothing anyone could do to take it away.

I said nothing.

Excerpt from ‘Altered Carbon’ by Richard Morgan

6/23/12 — 11:50am

Throughout his life, things had always conspired to frustrate him. Often, he brought disaster upon himself - he was honest enough to admit that. But not once had he been able to carry something through to completion. Not in his work, not in his private life.
He had never been good at gauging the consequences of his actions.

Excerpt from ‘Blood Music’ by Greg Bear

6/23/12 — 11:50am

Sometimes my attacks can be so strong I can pass out. I don’t really understand why I pass out, but before I do, the process is pretty overwhelming. It isn’t like in the picture in the sense that I hallucinate. Initially, it’s like the normal feeling I get all the time, so I can keep it under control. Soon enough, my limbs begin to feel heavier or maybe it’s more like a lack of control… I’m not sure really, I don’t tend to remember things too well. The scariest part for me however, is when I try to rest on something to calm myself down but I don’t feel it there, sometimes I feel like I’m just going to fall over. At this point, I can lose perception of what’s going on around me and I can only hear myself, freaking out in my head. Usually I can stumble to my bed unnoticed, black out and reawaken within about an hour. Other times I’m not so lucky.

6/23/12 — 2:12am