Posts tagged: depersonalization
Everything is so out of proportion in this picture, although I guess that’s ok since depersonalization makes you feel that way sometimes anyway.
I am not responsible for my actions, it is the evil octopus that is controlling me.
(By the way I haven’t gone insane, I’m using the octopus as a symbolic representation of my self-hate, depression, depersonalization, etc.)
Sometimes my attacks can be so strong I can pass out. I don’t really understand why I pass out, but before I do, the process is pretty overwhelming. It isn’t like in the picture in the sense that I hallucinate. Initially, it’s like the normal feeling I get all the time, so I can keep it under control. Soon enough, my limbs begin to feel heavier or maybe it’s more like a lack of control… I’m not sure really, I don’t tend to remember things too well. The scariest part for me however, is when I try to rest on something to calm myself down but I don’t feel it there, sometimes I feel like I’m just going to fall over. At this point, I can lose perception of what’s going on around me and I can only hear myself, freaking out in my head. Usually I can stumble to my bed unnoticed, black out and reawaken within about an hour. Other times I’m not so lucky.
I wouldn’t call myself an insomniac but it does take me a few hours every night to try to get to sleep.
-You’re actually trying to sleep?-
-Gee, I sure do hope you’re not thinking suicidal thoughts right now…-
-Idiot won’t understand it will never work-